Skating to a Scottish Gremlin in Etobicoke
My sister and I had an arrangement with Kirstie who lived on the
sixth floor. Kirstie was in Grade Two
with my younger sister, Anne. Kirstie wore
kilts and white lacey blouses to school as if she were still in Scotland . Being older and wiser, I absolutely refused
to do so, as I knew I'd stick out like a Scottish sore thumb. The other kids made fun of our accents, so I
desperately tried to do away with mine like the way I'd stashed our old school kilts
and uniforms to the dark, scary part of the closet and discovered my father's
secret whisky supply, all hidden away. Anne
and I preferred the colourful seventies pant suits that our mother whizzed off
on her sewing machine. Crazy swirling
patterned bell bottoms with matching tops and flaring sleeves. Kirstie clearly had no idea how awful she
looked in her old-fashioned tartans.
The deal with Kirstie, however became our charming childhood pact. If either of us witnessed the Witches leaving
the property then we'd call one another immediately. The Witches were the
superintendents of the building and as their name implied, they were wicked. I decided that Mr. Witches hated children as
we were always getting into trouble for playing ball in the hallways or pushing
all the buttons in the elevator.
One early June evening, Anne and I were busy on the balcony doing
homework at fold away card tables, occasionally glancing towards the Toronto
Airport where airplanes roared across
the purpled pink of the Etobicoke sky, when we heard Mr. Witches shouting. He always yelled and his children and wife
never spoke, never disobeyed. They piled
into their VW Beetle and Mr. Witches, his everlasting scowl plastered on his
face, gazed about suspiciously, squeezed in and the car sped off. No one noticed us two small girls, peering
down from our third floor balcony waiting until the car sped out of sight. Delighted we ran to the telephone. Anne put her finger in the dial and called
Kirstie.
“Kirstie? It’s Anne. They’ve gone out. Yes, I know! It’s been ages! Okay, good.” And she hung up. She beamed, "He's coming!"
We rummaged through the closet tossing aside winter scarves,
flip-flops and mittens till we uncovered our roller skates. Anne retrieved her keys from the hall table
and off we went to meet Kirstie in the lobby.
Her roller skates hung like pearls round her neck, proper figure skates,
white boots with laces, while ours were the bulky kind, heavy that fastened onto
shoes with a key and wide wheels too clunky for jewelry.
“Where is he?” I asked
anxiously.
“Don’t you worry, he’s just finishing his Tea.” Replied Kirstie in her broad Scottish
accent.
“But we don’t know how much time we have.”
Once through the lobby, I decided to buzz Chauna and pressed her intercom
button.
“Chauna, it's me, we’re all going skating, want to come?”
“Is Mr. MacIntyre going to be there?”
“Yes.”
“Right, I’ll meet you down there.”
Chauna was unlike any girl I’d ever met. With short spiky hair, tiny shorts which she
called Hot pants and a pet skunk named Pepé, she gave the impression of a saucy
fairy creature defying laws from every authority. Chauna explained, when I
hesitated to pet Pepé, that of course he'd been de-fumed so was unable to dose
you with his foul scent, but this didn’t stop the poor animal from trying. Chauna regularly squirted Pepe with her
Charlie perfume to conceal his natural smelly traces. The combination was
disgusting.
Anne, Kirstie and I crossed the parking lot carefully so no one
spied us and arrived at the top of the concrete slope that led to the pillared
underground garage. Here we were, three
girls under the age of eleven, in Etobicoke, all from Scotland
embarking on a magical skating expedition.
Anne, the youngest grabbed her key, one of many which hung from a
shoelace round her neck and inserted it into the box. The huge drawbridge rose with a moaning
shudder, till it clattered to a halt, suspended flat against the ceiling inside.
Running down the slope, we all made sure that we trod heavily on the rubber
hose that kept the door open electronically, so that the great beast wouldn't
come crashing down upon us. Once inside,
the door reversed itself and loudly clanged to a close. It took a minute for our eyes to adjust to
the concrete cave, lit only by caged bulbs and we located the family’s green Beaumont , parked between
pillars and a blue Mini. Once again, Anne
produced her necklace of keys and unlocked the Beaumont .
Pushing the front seat forward we scampered into the back seat.
“Put the radio on.” Said Anne.
“No, we must be quiet and listen for him arriving.”
Clumsily, knocking elbows and knees we managed to hook on the
skates, big wheels of wonderment and we waited. After a minute or two,
we emerged from the Beaumont
chunkily, the reverberated sounds banged around the concrete enclosure and we
worried about discovery. Waiting for the
silence to take over again, we pushed out from behind the pillars and glided awkwardly
to the middle of the polished perfect surface of our private rink. Soon we heard the secret knock, two short
quick, followed by three long hard ones, a side door opened and a shaft of
triangular light dropped to the floor, a dark shadow of a man standing in the
spotlight. The door hinged on a spring,
closed itself with a terrific bang, like a canon’s outburst announcing the
arrival of a very important person, Mr. MacIntyre.
In his mechanic’s oily overalls and precious bagpipes wrapped round
his body like a pet monkey, he stood waiting for the slam to stop its roaring
reverb.
“All's clear, Dad.” Kirstie
whispered.
He smiled, then nodded.
We girls glided to our places before him, ceremonial like and the
droning sound began. High-pitched at
first, from misuse, then lingering loudly within the cave and the overhead lights
flickered as if they were candles in the wind. The Gaelic song wavered, hovering
overhead, then danced round our bodies through the hallowed hallway.
The skate had begun, holding hands, on the edge of fantasy to the
sounds of the Highland Pipes we captured a rare moment in time to remember
always. The eerie notes stretched out
like newly released caged birds and flew with peaceful grace, rolling over imaginary
mists with the purring vibration of ancient times and we floated in awe weaving
through the cave, gliding on air effortlessly and smiling.
For once I wished I’d worn my kilt as Kirstie’s pleats rippled like
flower petals round her knees to the pipes lengthy sighs. He called his pipes “The Gremlin” and said
they’d been made in Pakistan ,
no where near Scotland ,
but the bag was clothed in Tartan. The underground rink stretched out the length
of a Soccer pitch and our feet flowed in sweeping motions towards the eastern
side where another overhead door serviced a twin apartment building, then round
the end columns we flowed down the hallway, like lilies on a stream. The shrill echoes and haunting pipe music
drowned out foreign sounds, even the thudding of our own wheels, it was
magic.
But then an unexpected ray of light crept across the far-corner of
the enclosure, and Mr. MacIntyre’s chanting came to an abrupt halt and the
spell was temporarily broken. We slid in
fear behind cars peering towards the door.
A small figure stepped onto the shaft and the door slammed with an
urgency.
“It’s just me, Chauna.”
The magic of Scottish bagpipes prevailed and the skaters danced and
floated in another time, another world.
Mr. MacIntyre told us that he was destined to be our personal
piper. His kind eyes wrinkled at the
sides and he smelt of tobacco and gasoline.
"You're such bonny lassies, you give a man something to smile
about at the end of a long day."
Sadly the performance came to an end when the main entrance lifted
with an earth shattering tremor announcing the arrival of a vehicle. It flew in like a dragon returning to its
lair, while we intruding girls cowered from its sight. We waited while the rider emerged from inside
the dragon and exited out the side door and resumed our places but Mr.
MacIntyre and his Gremlin had vanished.
Skating without the Piping, was just plain skating and the spell shattered. Suddenly our skates’ chunky
wheels felt heavy and Anne fell down twice bruising an elbow and scuffing her
knee. The skating sounds could also be
heard like echoing noises of war. No
longer gliding graceful Kelpies but clumsy misplaced Scottish school girls in
an underground parking lot in suburbia where no magic could possibly
happen.
Sadly, I have no photographs from this time period, however there are a few of my sister and I in Scotland in our school uniforms.
Sadly, I have no photographs from this time period, however there are a few of my sister and I in Scotland in our school uniforms.