GOING BATTY!

Going Batty

I’ve dealt with my fair share of creepy crawlies over the years, living in the Caribbean, the UK and the West Coast.      

In the Caribbean, there are huge flying cockroaches, giant hairy spiders, colourful unidentifiable bugs, Mona Boa Snakes and Scorpions!  Even Bats, but they were well-behaved.

Scorpions; horrid lobster-insect like things that hide under stones, in cupboards and sometimes in your shorts, and I’ve been stung three times!  A Friend of mine gave me a Scorpion necklace as a sort of Purple Heart of survival.  Ugh!  I can barely look at it, let alone wear the damned thing, but for some reason I keep it.

On the West Coast, Vancouver Island, slimy fat black slugs attack precious flowers, Randy Deer eat the foliage and of course early mornings there are bear and cougar sightings to be wary of.

With all this creature experience, I thought I’d be immune to Ontario’s Wildlife, imagining the odd bold squirrel attacking the dog or cute foraging raccoons or roosting aggresive crows.  I was ready for anything Ontario felt like throwing at me, yet surprisingly this was not the case. 

Vancouver Island Buck

SLIMY SLugs - Ugh!

BATS!  I’ve discovered I’m terrified of them!  Yes, people keep telling me, they’re harmless.  Watching them whoop and dive amongst the high tree tops, looking like Soaring Stingrays of the Sky, gulping down ounces and digesting mouthfuls of insects, yes how lovely, how useful! 

My first night home after my trip to England, my sister and I spent the evening making a delicious pasta dinner, chatting about our weeks apart and drinking copious amounts of Pino Grigio.  We said our goodnights near midnight and went to sleep.

At around 2 a.m. I awoke to a rustling sound in my curtain then a kerplop and suspicious scuffling sound.  I thought I was dreaming but decided to turn on the light…..bloody hell… a BAT whirling round my ceiling!  It’s sonar sense obviously intact, as it managed to avoid getting chopped in two by the rotating blades of the ceiling fan.  I let out a shriek as it zoomed over my side of the bed.  I crawled to the door and turned the light on in the kitchen, Bloody Hell it followed me, I imagined it cackling (effects of the wine I expect) while it sailed and soared around my kitchen.  “Help!”  I cried.

My sister shouted from her bedroom downstairs, “Are you okay?”

“No!”  I wailed.

“Oh my God, what’s wrong?”  She told me later that she imagined an intruder in the house or I’d received a phone call with terrible news!

“It’s a BAT! And It’s Huge!”

“What?”  She raced up the stairs to find me teetering on the top step, trying to throw a sheet over the fantastic fleeting nightmare of a thing.  She collapsed into a heap of hysterical laughter.

“It’s not funny!”  I shouted.  “What are we going to do?”  I was nearly crying.

My sister could hardly speak she was laughing so hard.  “I don’t know.  Just come and sleep downstairs.”

“NO!”  I was horrified.  “We have to get it outside, otherwise it’ll be here all night!!” 

While we argued on how to catch and remove it, the bat in a wink of a drunken eye rocketed out of sight. 

“Where the Hell has it gone?”

“Look the window is open, it’s flown away.” My sister told me and so relieved and slowly we went back to sleep.

2^nd Night

Midnight, the Bat returns which means Horror Of Horrors the blessed bloody bat must have slept somewhere in the house during the daylight hours.  Again, my shrieking returns, and again my sister is laughing at me.  But this time, I take a huge brave breath and seize the golden opportunity when it lands on the window ledge and I lunge at it with a plastic bag and grasp it firmly, run downstairs and set the bag on the front lawn where it crawls creepily out of the crackling plastic, relieved to be released it into the dark night.

The next day, I install homemade screens on the only two windows without screens.  Problem solved….? Or so I thought.

Several Weeks Later. 

Naturally I thought my Bat intrusions had stopped. It had been weeks and I prided myself on how clever I’d been fixing and installing the screens all on my own, what a clever Girl!  HA! How I bragged, but Pride cometh before a Fall.  It’s a sad ironic story where The Bat & I would be forced to an unhappy dual. 

Please read no further should you be a follower of Gandhi or The Dalai Lama and I sincerely apologise to all living creatures no matter how ugly.

This is the next day, Bat hanging from outdoor fireplace.

The couch is a very comfy place and I’d been blissfully sleeping there for the past four nights, due to visiting friends and cousins.  But, my first night in my own bed was not so happy.  I sprawled out marvelling in the mounds of available mattress space and soon was soundly asleep.  Jango my ancient doggie, whimpered slightly around the BAT Hour which I’ve discovered is at precisely 2 a.m. 

“What Jango?”  I sat up and felt a slight whoosh.  “No, it can’t be" I said aloud as I cowered back behind a pillow and shakily turned on the side lamp.  “Yes, ha ha, I’m back”

I grabbed my pillow and hid underneath, trembling for an escape, I slunk out the bedroom door. It’s rubbery wings and furry flying body followed me once again, I felt it anticipated my moves.  “How can this be?”  I shrieked in terror.

I switched on the kitchen light and the entire scenario began to replay itself with the creature from the depths of hell, laughing and diving above me.  It was bigger and uglier than before and when it landed on the window ledge, it’s little demon like face grinned and barred its fangs.

photo from internet - too freaked to take my own photo

Again I shrieked and wondered what the sleeping neighbours might think, it was then I transformed into a different persona and morphed into a revengeful someone I didn’t recognize. 

There was no way in Hell, I was going to let this thing live in my house.  It was either Me or the BAT and now it was my fangs that were showing.  I grabbed a broom and yes, I’m sorry to say, I swung it like a baseball bat as it dodged like a boxer around me, after three strikes, I hit it.  Bang, the thing rolled landing by Jango’s front paws.  He gave me a sad look, one that said, “What have you done?” 

The wild gleam in my eye soften slightly and a tremendous guilt swept through me as the almighty Bat lay crumpled in a heap and I dithered over to investigate. 

“Eeks!” The creature conned me as it took off in flight once more. 

Well, I’m sad to say, that the killer in me possessed my body once more and that was that for the BAT. 

The next night, I kept all the windows closed, perplexed as to how the sinister beings entered the house.  I didn’t relish a repeat encounter and I certainly did not enjoy this new murderous side of myself.  The next day I realized there was a small gap between the window and the screen and I read online about Bat roosting season and how they sought out places to hibernate.  Again the guilt washed over me, until I read this in the local paper! 

Rabid bat found in Perth County

A bat captured in South Easthope on Aug. 3 has tested positive for rabies.

This is the second animal in Perth County to test positive for rabies in 2012.

Earlier this summer a stray cat tested positive in the Mornington Ward; however, this is the first bat to test positive for rabies since August 2009.

Bats are very active this time of year as they prepare to hibernate.

“Bats are a concern because they can expose a person to rabies,” says Kate Beath, public health inspector. “We want residents to be prepared if they come across one in their home.”

People may become infected with rabies when bitten or scratched by a rabid bat, or when a rabid bat’s saliva comes into contact with broken skin or moist tissues of the mouth, nose or eyes.

If left untreated, rabies is fatal in humans.

“It’s important to take the right steps when you have a bat in the house,” says Beath. “Ultimately, if you see a bat, try to stay away from it.”

All the Gaps have been fixed now and so I hope this is the end of my BAT Adventures, but I still wake up at 2 a.m. in a panic dreaming of the Beat of Black Wings in my bedroom.

Now I am going to end my story with a pastoral photo of some lovely cows to soothe my soul, taken around October last year near Stratford Ontario.



Moo! Moo!

A not so Lonely Summer's Eve in Stratford

There is nothing that compares to a summer evening walk to lift the spirits and assuage a lonely heartsick soul. sob..sob...(Violins Please!)

After a family gathering in the UK and living in cramped quarters, (I even had bruises)  I relished in the thought of finally being on my own!  But now after a few weeks, I find I’m missing my family so much that it has taken me for a loop, fancy that!...Especially missing, my Best Friend with Benefits ......(my husband). 

A few of my New friends had invited me out to the Stratford Blues Festival, and yet I had declined, I was behind with a few Website projects, and decided to stay home and work.  However, after dinner with my senior doggie companion, Jango (whose always asleep when not eating,) and after I’d knocked back a couple of wines, I instantly regretted it.  Silly me.  So off I went in the hollow hope of finding my friends.  My stroll began, through town towards the Avon River in my new hometown of Stratford at 9:30 p.m. on a Saturday night.  

Downie Street was alive with well-dressed tourists, peeking in windows and checking out venues and menus.  Pampered pub patrons spilled out of open air patios from Fosters, The Pour House and free flying fragrances filled the air from Downie’s gourmet burgers, mixed with Eastern spicy smells from Taj & Raja. 

Hosts of happy teens swarmed the streets, oblivious to anyone’s world but their own, freedom from the confines of classrooms and paranoid parents, who always think you'll gouge your eye out, not matter what you do? (I remember this)

The evening light so beautiful and the sky streaked with pinks, orangey blues, and an ornamental crescent moon hung on an invisible hook.  Down by the riverbank, new little cygnets were being tucked up in bed by their protective parents.  It was lovely!

So I took a few photographs and then decided I was content and thought, well I’ll just go home now.

But like a pleasant hazy dream….friends materialized…. ahh inhale...my new friends, Marie, Deb, Fred,… remember him? (Who the F is Fred?) http://www.suzannefitz.blogspot.ca/2012/03/who-f-is-infamous-fred-or-reunion-at.html         

Anyways, they had spotted me and I was quickly whisked off into the Allman Arena to the Stratford Blues Festival.  Fred insisted he could get me in for Free, so I’m not sure what happened but the next thing I knew I was inside dancing along side my cousin, Rhona, Fred and the lovely Maggie, completely absorbed in the fantastic Blues and Rock music.

Cousin with The Infamous Fred

Maggie

Dylan Wickens & The Grand Naturals

Fantastic Band - Plum Loco - John Till, BW Pawley, Wayne Brown

My only wish is that I had arrived earlier to see the many others who played before these two Sharp Rockin Bands.  And I hoped to captured a good shot of the Roller Skating Gals that were gliding about, but since I was well-refreshed with wine, these photos are only a colourful blur, except for this one. 

I’m also well pleased that the Roller gals didn’t have an extra pair of skates as my thoughts were truly turning dorky with the idea that I too, could be just as Twirly and Wonderfully graceful on Wheels as these ladies were, and for sure I would have ended up embarrassing myself.  (I sometimes forget that I’m not twenty anymore.)  There is hope however, (in the skating department, I mean) the black stockinged, (new word) skater, Lemon Zinger handed me a flyer  www.stratfordrollergirls.com explaining that Even I could be taught all about roller skating, and get an equally Awesome Name, such as Hers,  mmm....what could it be?  Cruizin Suze, comes to mind or Little Miss Muffet! 
Long long time ago, my sisters and I took great pleasure as young girls, skating in an underground parking lot to Bag Pipes!  But Ahh, that is another story.

Again, Stratford has proved that a room was filled with cheery enthusiastic Dancers, hypnotized by the strong talent of groups like, Dylan Wickens & The Grand Naturals, and this other band that I failed to get the name of, can be an uplifting experience and a refreshing jolt out of the doldrums.

Some of my Dancing Friends!

Yeager, just out of hospital

Marvelous Marie



Rosalie & Maggie

Peter Shane & Roller Gal

 

The Stratford Swans - What a Lovely Fuss!

When I read about the Stratford Swans Annual Parade from their winter quarters to the Avon River, I immediately thought, What Fun! So, of course I had to attend. It was a drizzly dull day and I didn’t think there would be many in attendance. I was wrong.

The street next to the arena was lined with people of all ages, hiding under umbrellas or cloaked in rain wear. Somehow I managed to squeeze to the front of the crowd, an advantage of being incredibly short, emphathetic individuals usually make way for me.

“What a fuss over some bloody birds!” A man behind me with a northern English accent exclaimed.
“Dad, please it’s just a bit of fun. I thought you liked bag pipes.”
“My God, such bother!”

The woman sighed and I glanced back sympathetically as my mother had made a similar complaint when I suggested she accompany me.

“I can’t stand the sound of bagpipes.” This was news to me. My 84 year old mother, who was born in England yet raised in Scotland, surrounded by the lilting sounds, never had mentioned this before, so I’m not sure when this opinion took hold of her.
For me, The Stratford Swans being Bag Piped into the River was the most comical, yet beautiful sight I’ve ever witnessed at a public event. I found myself laughing aloud, yet with a surprising emotional lump in my throat.
The mystical Pied Pipers look serious and stern but lets face it, you can’t smile when you're puffing your cheeks and blowing all your wind into a small tube, all efforts consumed by creating a rare supernatural sound.

Yes! There is much fuss made over some lovely birds, but the heart-warming sight of the well-behaved swans waddling in confusion behind a kilted procession of Highlanders, all anxious for their long awaited wade, I think should be right up there with the Running of The Bulls.  Of course, I know, I know, not nearly so dangerous a gathering, yet similiar that the Bull event was originally a process of moving the beasts from the farm to the market.  The Swans, moving to the river provided a stimulating sense of man moving nature's creatures alongside the manmade mystic music of ancient Scotland and I have classified it as motivational. All in all a sensation that reminded me, how great it is to be alive and by the surrounding chuckles and ahh sounds from the hundreds of participants giving rapt attention to the odd sight, it was obvious they felt something too!

Now that I’ve experienced and got all emotional about this parade, I will mark it down in permanent marker on all my future calendars. I would not miss this event in a million years! What more can be said in that the streets were lined, even with the odd grumpy complainer, dancing children donning swan hats, during a drizzly wet Sunday, and you can see by my photographs I could hardly get a decent shot because of the huge crowd.

After the Swans passed by I was then swept up by the stampeding mob desparate to get a glimpse of their first immersion into the river of 2012.

The swans, now road weary, the journey completed, just dreaming for a fancy-free paddle, there was a collective sigh, as their tired, feathered, awkward bodies plunged, now gracefully into the cool water accelarating fast away from the encroaching crowd.

 

What more can I say? It was magic!

Who the F is the Infamous Fred? – OR – A Reunion at the Dominion House, Stratford.

The success of a local Pub should not have to rely on just the revenue from wild weekends or occasional office parties, and Downie Street’s Dominion House in Stratford proves this.  The Pub has been in existence since 1865 so obviously this establishment must have something special going on and last Saturday, March the 3^rd we witnessed the why to its prosperity.

My family and I are recent residents to Stratford so when we received several invitations to a “Homecoming for Fred” at the Dominion House, how could we say No?

From the outside, the Dominion House is not much to look at, which is a shame because for months I avoided it even though it’s just down the street from where we now live.  Next to the Railway Station and across the road from a boarded up building entitled, Shenanigans, I imagined that Hell’s Angel people frequented there and though I personally have nothing against Hell’s Angels I don’t believe they’d want to hang out with a bookworm like me.

Thanks to our new friend, Yeager we were acquainted with the Dominion House from his Sunday afternoon Open Mics, unfortunately these sessions were not well attended and we wondered how the Dominion House managed to make ends meet.  During one of these Sunday Gigs, my husband and son (Fitz&Fitz) played for several hours with Yeager, his drummer, Bailey and a few other talented musicians and we had a wonderful afternoon.

“You must play at Fred’s Homecoming!”  Yeager said and before I could ask who Fred was, he was beckoned away by one of his many friends.

“Are you coming next Saturday?  It’s wonderful that Fred is arriving!”  Maggie, a lovely blond, asked. 

“Who is Fred?”  I enquired and she actually explained to me who Fred was but I couldn’t hear her properly, with the loud music and being partially deaf in one ear.

A few days later, I had an invitation email from my cousin, Rhona inviting me to a Grand Gala basically saying, “All Hail the Return of Fabulous FRED!”  But this time I was more than curious and wondered, Who the F was FRED?  I hit reply on her email, Yes, we were coming, but Who is Fred?  There was no reply.  And so, the Fabled Fred remained a mystery.

I imagined and queried all the Famous Freds of Canada, was he Fred Penner? Fred Perry?  Maybe Fred is an Actor in the Festival or a perhaps some hippie artist/poet touring the world!

Because this evening would also be my son, Tyler’s last weekend with us, I invited my sister and her husband from Toronto to join us on this venture to Dominion House.  During dinner my sister asked me, “Who is Fred anyway?”  Furiously Frustrated, I replied, “I have no idea!”  We joked, guzzling our wine, that we’d present Tyler to Fred, as his long lost son.

Upon entering the establishment by the backdoor, passing smiling smokers and a well-played pool table, the place was packed.  I half expected some Biker Boys to surround my geeky guitar carrying son and duff him up for not wearing leather or a Rude T-shirt. I whispered to my sister, “Don’t worry, we won’t stay long.”  However, how wrong I was.  Inside was a group of happy, dancing well-wishers who made room for us at a huge table. 

My cousin, Rhona came forward gave me a warm hug and so did her Husband, Ken and her friend, Marie.  I can honestly say I’ve never in my life felt swept up by a more harmonious and good-humoured crowd, all extending a hand of friendship to a bunch of new faces!  There must have been over a hundred people and usually I get anxious in large crowds but this miraculously never happened.  My sister, who’s usually shy in gatherings, suddenly succumbed to a dancing crowd in pleasant pandemonium, I could see her blond locks tossing in the distance.  All to the beat of a Tom Petty song, performed by Yeager and his band, Harmony Bridge.  After I recovered from my stunned stait, I gulped in amazement at my bashful in public places sister, usually she expected me to follow, but Bloody Hell!  She was just GONE! I then took deep breaths and joined in as well!

It was evident that the Pub was rocking with a great appreciation for good music and the easy comfort of long acquainted companions.  I was in pleasurable awe and we couldn’t stop smiling.  (Only because in Victoria, BC we had never experienced this.)  Victorians are so reserved and anytime my sister and I danced to music in that town, we were usually the only dancers, receiving glances of distain.  Here in the Dominion House, we were excited by the individuality on the dance floor and CRIKEY!  MEN INCLUDED!  There was even an agreeable crazy clog dancing dude!  IT was so much FuN!  These dancers had no inhibitions, they let loose, unleashed carefree abandon, like patrons in pubs I’d experienced only in Britain.

Well, guess what?  It was on the dance floor that we finally met the FAMous FRED!

I realized why Fred was so special and I was envious, he had more friends than anyone I had ever known.  He’d been round the world to Australia and back, his wrinkly smile lines and balding head did not belittle the fact that his heart was warm and his dance moves smooth, he was in his element surrounded by his life long pals. Yet, he embraced my family and we embraced him! 

The evening went on to get even more interesting.  We had a wonderful performance of Belly Dancing Gals led by the Gorgeous and Charismatic Karen, of Studio Oasis.  http://www.studiooasisstratford.ca/#

After their choreographed upbeat Egyptian shimmies, she invited anyone to join in.  Many obliged including my shy sister and Fred, also a woman with a RCMP shirt on.  I kept thinking to myself, why hadn’t I moved to Stratford sooner?

Yeager, graciously, invited my husband and son to play which was so great of him, since this was his gig.  Fitz&Fitz, (with accompanying home studio backtracks) said afterwards, how refreshing it was to play to a group of sincere admirers who responded with gusto and true positive vibrations.

Fred, over the microphone, gave a salute to them both, praising Tye’s guitar playing and urging him not to leave and go back to the U.K.  It was a tremendous truthful gesture and certainly made me feel teary.

Harmony Bridge continued on, with Fred on harmonica and the occasional song as well.  Everyone was suitably refreshed in the liquid department and my brother in-law dragged my reluctant sister out of there,  we finally stumbled home smiling in the soft falling snow, I was astounded that it was after 2 a.m.  What the F?  I never stay up that late!  

Thanks to The Dominion House and Staff with all my heart.